the key to a strong marriage is communication


My wife and I are both a bit obsessive.  We train obsessively and tend to overthink things a bit – remodeling, vacations, and pretty much anything else.

One of the important parts of our overthinking process is "overthinking out loud" to each other.  For example, five minutes ago, my wife arrived home after a triathlon training clinic, and began sharing the various ins and outs of the things she learned.  All sorts of minutia about VO2 max, threshold training, heart rate zones, and (important!) setting achievable goals for oneself.  Just about then I drift back in from the other planet I’m on, and say something unhelpful and hopefully uncontroversial so that it seems I was listening.  Better yet, I’ll occasionally stumble onto a joke that enhances the sense that I’m a caring, actively listening spouse.

Please don’t think I’m a bad person, I’m pretty sure she does this to.  Part of being an overthinking person is that you are often mired in your own inner world of thought, impervious to external disturbance.  And I love her dearly.

Anyway as she spoke, it occurred to me that this may be a common occurrance in other households as well.  If any of you happen to pop up from your own sphere of obsessive overthinking, let me know what you think.


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