That’s who I feel like. Today, the left side of my head swelled nicely, making me look a bit like a cartoon character. I’m sure this is all pretty normal two days after a cranioplasty, but I’m a bit scared to look in the mirror nonetheless.
Despite that, I’m feeling pretty good. There’s a bit of pain, as you’d expect from head surgery. But aside from the swelling, things are pretty good.
Tomorrow I expect I’ll get the Jackson-Pratt Drain removed from the side of my head. This device is somewhat amusing to wear to dinner parties, especially those with small children present. It sucks excess fluid out of my head. Unfortunately it doesn’t also remove bad thoughts about things I dislike. Also unfortunate is the effect it seems to have on my children, who tend to be repulsed by it. Oh well.
I didn’t do very much today, other than veg out at home. I worked on some pictures that I took at Kayla’s basketball game last week, and not much more. I did feel up to cooking dinner tonight, which is a good sign as well.
Overall, I’m tired of "recovering" and want more than anything else to get on with normal life. Kris and I were talking about that this evening, and she aptly pointed out that we don’t have much history with normal in our household. Acknowledging this, I revised my wishes to be for challenges that we choose rather than recovery from traumatic injuries, or (in her case) dealing with Celiac Disease.
It’s definitely been a year of challenges for us. Either that can get you down, or you can view it as an opportunity to demonstrate real determination. That’s the view I prefer to take, although this can play out in different ways.
An example is how I overreacted when someone made an offhand remark about how Kris I and shouldn’t ride bikes. I mean look what happened to me in July, and what happened to Kris a couple of weeks ago during Ironman Arizona. It was meant to be funny, but I overreacted. I feigned insult about whether or not we were at all to blame for either accident (obviously, we weren’t). I started out sort of kidding about it, but my reaction was definitely a bit passive-aggressive. Not pleasant.
On the positive side, this shows that I don’t ever want to be defined or limited by what happened to me on my bike this past July 1st. On the other hand, it’s recent enough that some of my feelings about the accident are still a bit raw. It will take some time, but I’m looking forward to the day things like this roll right off my back.