one year

One year ago this morning, things were very different for me.  You can read about what happened here, if interested.

Since then, so much has happened.  Lots of it has been very good.  I have my health, my family and friends, and get to do the things I love doing.  I’d say that’s about as good as things get.  I am about as physically recovered as I’ll get.  I live without much pain or discomfort (aside from facial numbness and a bit of asymmetry due to a deadened facial nerve.  I am still adjusting to having lost vision in my left eye, and continue to hold out hope that medical advances in the coming years will enable me to regain it.

Emotionally I’m still recovering a bit.  I reflect on what happened to me every day.  Some emotions still run close to the surface about all of this.  I guess that’s part of the ongoing process.

Over time, I hope that I will reflect on this past year as a positive experience, even including my injuries.  I’ve been offered such a wonderful gift – recognizing the love and support I have in my life.  Without these, things would have been much more difficult.  My wife Kris functioning as a single parent, life mate, caregiver, and medical advocate.  My kids offering their love and support, and rolling with a very difficult time last year.  My parents being there with me so much, and helping us with the kids.  My brother spending so much of his summer here.  My good friends spending time with me at the hospital and at home – talking with me, bringing positive feelings, even when I was somewhere off in dreamland.  And there were a couple of instances where conversations helped me to understand that I didn’t have to accept a doctor’s prognosis as gospel, or that healing really does take time.

I’ll be saying “thank you” for the rest of my life, and doing so happily.

I was explaining to one of my daughters the other day that healing doesn’t mean you necessarily put something entirely in the past.  It fades slowly, as scars do. 

We don’t always control what happens to us.  And these things remain a part of who we are.  It’s entirely up to each of us to draw the best lessons and positive feelings from them.

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